Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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