butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
