I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
