My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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