Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
