evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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