Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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