Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
