some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
