He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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