I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think my vagina is haunted
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
