How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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