Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
