I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
