it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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