Nicole vs. Life
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
whose parrot is this?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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