guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
