What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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