I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
