Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
