she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We are two peas in an std pod
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
