Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
