you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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