We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
