i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
