it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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