I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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