i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
