just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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