Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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