Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
