Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
