i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
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