you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
