So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
