Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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