The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
