She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
