I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
