you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
