Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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