Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
