Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
