So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
