Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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