I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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