this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
