Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He kissed a someone with a penis
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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