Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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