sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
