I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
