You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
