I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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