I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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