I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am naked and annoyed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
