I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
