If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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