we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
