Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can't put those talents on a resume
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
